you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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