ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
