It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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