you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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