Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
