I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
