then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
