it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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