Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
