I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize