just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can I color on your dick again?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize