new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is the high leading the old right now
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
