Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
this will be a night to untag.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
