I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
