i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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