i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The best revenge is premature balding
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need to calm my uterus...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
