Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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