we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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