So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
