i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
