Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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