I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
