I just pynch a tree in the face
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
