I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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