i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
