So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
