I love black thongs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
