shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
