Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
FUCK WHALES
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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