Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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