he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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