True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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