so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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