so that wasnt chicken after all
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize