There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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