she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
