If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
