Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
