Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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