the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
