Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
