I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Are my feet made of real feet?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
