You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
