he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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