Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
