She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
