O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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