One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
