So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize