I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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