So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
