Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
