I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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