why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize