I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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