I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Vodka?
Forever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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