I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize