I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
