And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
