how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
