Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
