dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Use "feeling words"
Yay
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
