we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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